


Blowing Smoke

by Saltshaker527



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Bunkers, Future Fic, Gang Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mental Health Issues, Smoking, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 03:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltshaker527/pseuds/Saltshaker527
Summary: Little Alice was five years old when she created Wonderland. A land of marvelous creatures who loved her.  Until she woke up, and hasn't returned since.That was ten years ago. Without Alice to keep the Wonderland residents happy, they have fallen into turmoil and despair. Now Alice is back, and they're bitter with her.But there is none more bitter than Wonderland's misfit herself: Paradox Cheshire. When thrust with the responsibility of guiding teenage Alice back through the remnants of her Wonderland, Paradox has to put aside her anger to keep Alice alive, and figure out what really brought her back.





	1. Cigarettes and Scones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s meet Paradox

Smoke was always part of my life. Three years old, fire engulfing my house. Ten years old, having to fight off some guy who smelled strongly like marijuana. 

Suddenly I was nineteen and leaning against a gigantic flower, puffing out cigarette smoke. Or maybe it was a hookah pipe. I don't know. The caterpillar could be kind of sketchy with what he's selling. 

Ever since Alice woke up, Wonderland fell apart. That was nearly ten years ago and she hasn't come back. Stupid kid. We let her live out her wildest fantasies and she left us in shambles. Some friend, right? We give her all she wants and she goes and leave she. 

And me? They look to me for the answers. I may have spent the most time with the brat, but I barely know her. She was five years old and I wasn't even ten. I hung out in trees, scared her with my smile, and made sure she didn't die. That's it. 

"Paradox! What do you think you're doing?!" Came a booming voice from across the street. I didn't even have to look up to know it was Imperamate, the former Queen of Hearts. Her castle had been seized by her card soldiers and it served as their base now. She spent the days in what used to be the market, locked in stocks for people to throw eggs at. Her hands had been bound to stop her from using her infernal powers. 

"Smokin' a cig" I said, rolling my eyes. 

"You devilish child! How dare you put that ghastly smoke into the air of my kingdom?!" Her voice was hoarse. She had probably been yelling at her 'subjects' all day. Stupid old bitch. 

"I ain't a kid, lady. And this ain't your kingdom. 'Sides, the air here is already filthy. Little bit of smoke won't even get noticed." I retaliated. 

"How dare you?! Put that infernal drug out this instant!" She demanded. 

I shrugged and made my way across the street to her stock, talking a long drag of my cig as I walked. When I got to her, I leaned down and exhaled. It sent a cloud of smoke cascading into her face. 

She coughed, sputtered, and tried to turn away. But the lock was too tight around her neck. While she was distracted, I stubbed the cigarette out on her cheek. 

As I turned away to teleport, I relished in her screams of distress from the burn. That bitch hadn't yelled "Off with their head" in a long time.

**************************

Maddix is crazy. Crazy drunk, that is. By the time I got to his 'tea' party, he was blacked the fuck out. Wonder what he spiked it with this time. Probably whiskey. 

Can't blame him. The guy had a rough life. The old queen hated him with a passion and drove him insane with how much she made that clear. He's delusional over the time and has severe OCD and schizophrenia. It's heartbreaking to hear him muttering "can't waste time, must have tea, Queen will kill me" as he pours his tea. He laughs with tea party guests that aren't there, passes out drunk from whatever he put in the kettle, and wakes up panicked that he's late for tea. It's heart wrenching to watch. 

I took a blueberry scone from the table and sat on the table. I don't like to sit in the chairs because I risk 'sitting on his guests'. I took a long drag from the new cig I lit on the way over here as I waited for him to wake up. He never stayed knocked out for long. 

Sure enough, Maddix woke up with a start. "Oh my stars and buttons, late again!" I sat back and waited. This was a common occurrence, and it was easier to just let him do his routine. He moved down to the next chair at the table, moved all the tea stuff over in front of him, and poured a new cup of tea. That's when he noticed me. 

"Paradox, my dear, you're late!" He scolded. I shrugged and bit into my scone. The subtle blueberry flavor was refreshing. I gladly poured myself a cup of tea. The difference was that Maddix was the one who reached for the bottle of whiskey. I politely declined the alcohol. I wasn't trying to ruin myself even more. 

"Paradox, my fuzzy friend, have you met Frumpus?" He motioned to the chair across from him. "He's a very esteemed guest at my party. Tell me, my colourful cat, have you met?" 

I didn't have to look to know the chair was empty and this was another of his hallucinations. Poor old guy. I looked at the empty chair. It was better to just play along. "No, I don't think we've met. How do you do, Mr. Frumpus?" I went silent for a minute and then nodded politely. Then I retuning to nibbling on my scone. The slightly tart taste spread across my tongue as my fangs tore the pastry apart. 

I watched Maddix chug down cup after cup of Rosey Whiskey spiked tea. He talked to creatures only he could see and laughed madly. I knew better than to try and join in on the conversation. I always ended up saying the wrong thing and offending the guests. Maddix was starting to slur his words at this point, and I knew that it was almost over. 

When his head hit the table, I took my scone and teleported away from the table. He wouldn't remember I was there anyway. 

**************************

Getting back to my house was not fun. Some sort of riot was happening in the streets. I wasn't concerned. Typical day in Wonderland. 

What set me off and made me panic was the things I heard people saying. 

"She's back?" 

"No, that's impossible! It's been so long..."

"The nerve of this brat!" 

"Welcome back, Miss. Had an alright journey, did'ja now?"

Everyone was starting to put on their old facades from when Alice was here. No... That brat can't be back. She just can't. 

I shoved my way through the crowd. "Hey, Hey, move along! Cheshire Cat comin' through, c'mon, outta the way!"  The crowd parted for me and I pushed my way to the front. 

Sitting on the ground was a girl with strawbrrry blonde hair. Her wide eyes matched her powder blue dress. Although she no longer wore a pinafore and her dress was much more fitted to her developing body, I knew her. Her hair might've been plaited in a braid down her back now, and darker than it was, but I still knew her. 

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Or rather, what she's about to drag in. Bratty little Alice returned home to play" 

I grabbed the little devil kid and teleported out of there. She'd get eaten alive out there. Plus, I had to talk to the bitch myself.


	2. Dreams and Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s figure out why she’s back

When I had the child- well, teenager- back in my hideout, I pinned her into the corner. 

"Alright, what's your game, kid?" I interrogated. "Huh? I'm asking you a question, punk. Fucking answer me, you little shit". 

When her tiny voice finally came through to me, I was honestly in shock. 

"I don't know where I am or who I am anymore, Kitty". Her voice was so much quieter. When she was five, she was much louder and more outspoken. God, I forgot how much can change in a decade. 

I shook it off and didn't drop my act. "What are you talkin' about, kid?" I snapped. 

Alice fiddled with the hem of her skirt, a habit I didn't remember her having. "Well you see, Kitty, I-" 

"Stop" I cut her off. "If we're gonna do this you're gonna have to stop calling me by the childish nickname and call me Paradox like everyone else. Got it?" 

She nodded timidly and continued. "Paradox. I'm afraid I've grown up quite a lot since my last visit. And I don't quite know what's become of me. My world has changed particularly fast in this last decade. I'm older, but I don't see myself as many more clever. In fact, I think I may have grown more stupid really. I have no control and it frightens me terrribly. I wanted to go back to where I have control. I wanted to come back to Wonderland." 

Her speech, admittedly, shocked me. How old was this kid last time? Five? So she'd be fifteen now. It sounded like she'd fallen into a depression like the rest of us had. Now she waltzes in and claims she controls the place? 

Alice doesn't control Wonderland. No one does. Wonderland is anarchy. 

"You know how much you fucked us over by leaving like that?"  Alice instantly looked hurt. Ouch. Wrong thing to say, Paradox. 

Her wife blue eyes blinked at mine. "What ever do you mean, Ki- Paradox?" I nearly clawedher face off then and there. The nerve of this girl! 

"What do I MEAN? WHAT DO I MEAN?!" Are you stupid?! Without you, Wonderland has no reason to be happy. It was all for you, kid! Now we're a shell of who we once we're. We're bitter and broken. I supposed you think you can fix it?" I snapped.

Alice had nothing but panic in her eyes. "Oh no, I couldn't possibly! I'm afraid I'm not so happy as I once was, Paradox..." 

Instantly my world came crashing to the ground. When Alice reappeared, I felt the hope rise in the people of Wonderland. When she's here, we have to be happy for her sake. Now we don't have her happiness to bounce off of. Without Alice's joy to make us put on our masks, we were nothing. 

"You little b-" I had to cut myself off. It's not like I could blame her. Depression sucks. I've seen it's effects. It'd be hypocritical to berate her for what she can't help. I've gotta remember that she's still a kid. She hasn't grown up like us, on the streets. She was just a cynical teenager who fell down the 'rabbit hole' of depression. 

I took her by the wrist and led her further into my hideout. I held her firmly, but didn't let my claws scratch her pale skin. She followed me without hesitation. This is kid is too trusting. 

We arrived in my bunker. It really wasn't much. It had a spot that I could unplug to get water, some freezers stocked with food, an old gas stove, a few beds, some dishes, and my beloved crossbow, arrows, and quiver. 

I directed Alice to the bed as I got her a glass of water. She sat and messed with her skirt again. I seriously wondered where she'd picked up that habit. 

I handed her the glass and leaned against the wall across from her. 

"So. What made you pick Wonderland to come back to?" I had to get more information out of her before anything. "Didn't your sister yell at you for it or something? Say that you shouldn't be comin' up with these fantasies at your age?" 

Her mouth turned down. "My family doesn't like me much anymore Ki- I mean Paradox. They judge me for the way I act and ignore me. The only part of me they don't ignore is my flaws. My big eyes and pale skin. They hate me now. They wouldn't let me come back. But they're gone now, so I can come back." 

Oh the things I would do to her family if I was real. They drove her into enough of a depression that she repressed her emotions until she can't back to a fantasy land she created when she was five years old. No kid deserves that. 

"Well you're here now, I guess. So what're you hoping to get out of this?" 

Alice stared at the ground with her eyes glazed over. "I want to fix myself. Wonderland makes me happy. I have to fix this. Then maybe I can stop being so sad" 

I chuckled dryly. "Kiddo, you do realize we need your happiness to function, right? It's a vicious cycle" 

Alice started to tear up. "B-but, if I'm all sad then how-" 

I gently shushed her. "Alice. You aren't just sad. You have depression" 

"I can't have depression! I have a good life and only people who live in poverty have depression! Besides, depression just means you're sad!" 

I slid across the room and knelt in front of her. "Alice, depression can affect anyone. You're rich, but you still can have things wrong with you. Do you think every poor person is sad? You've seen kids on the streets. They aren't sad. They run and play, even though they're homeless. Lotta people here have it but they aren't just sad. And hey, I'm on the streets. I'm constantly pissed off and unhappy, but I don't have depression. Depression runs a lot deeper than just being sad, kiddo" 

She began to fidget with her dress for the third time. I took her small hands in my own. They were shaking. She hadn't grown much. Physically at least. 

Her large blue eyes seemed to bore into my very soul when she looked at me. I could see the tears grow and start to slip down her cheeks, wetting her long lashes. "How do I fix this?" 

In the moment I couldn't control it. I had clenched my jaw to hide it, but the laugh slipped out. And suddenly I was laughing like o hadn't in years, like a kid hearing a funny noise. It was a stupid reason to laugh but to me it was hilarious. 

"Ya don't fix depression. You learn to work around it, but you've got it for life. Sorry kid. It's not like a broken toy that can be fixed with glue. You can't be fixed. Because you're not broken". 

"But Papa says people with mental dis-" 

"To hell with him. He's been nothing but an oppressor to you. Don't trust a damn word he tells you, Alice. He's scum and a liar. What he says is worthless." 

I stood up and found that I was still holding her hands. I decided to experiment with something. I took hold of her dress and lifted. She squealed at suddenly being lifted off the ground and I smirked. This would be useful if we needed to get away fast. I carried her to my bed and stopped her on it. I sat in the edge of the bed. 

She crawled over to sit next to me. "Are you mad at me?" 

I sighed. "Yeah. Not gonna lie. I'm pretty pissed that you left us. But I guess you couldn't help it. 'Sides, I got you outta here once, right? I can do it again". That was probably a lie. 

"I don't know if I can get out if I can't make people happy, Paradox. What if the magic doesn't let me wake up?" 

"Well what woke you up last time?" 

"My sister shook me awake last time. I fell asleep while she was reading to me." 

"Okay, where'd you fall asleep this time? Maybe someone there can wake you up?" I suggested. 

"...No" she said. "They can't". 

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, starting to get suspicious now. Alice was getting kind of cryptic now.

"Because I'm not waking up anytime soon"


	3. Fighting and Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s have a street fight

It was weird. Having this tiny child curled up in my side. Children usually stayed away from me. But here she was, falling asleep on me while I cleaned my crossbow.

I ran the tag across the sleek silver of my weapon. The stainless steel was warm, despite being kicked in a cold cabinet for half a day. I watched as the metal gradually became cleaner until the black of my fur stood out in my reflection. 

Alice shifted in her sleep, reminding me that she was there. A cold chill shook her small body and I instinctively pulled her closer as a mother cat was do to its kitten. Her tiny drama must've been a huge contrast to mine. Her skin was pale and smooth, whereas mine could teen be seen beneath my thick black fur. She was maybe five foot and I'm 6'3". 

I carefully wiped down my bow the rest of the way. Perfect. But I had no way to put it back without waking the girl who looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. 

Wait, I hate this kid. I pushed her off.

She woke up with a squeak as she hit the floor. I was walking across the room to my cabinet to put the crossbow away. "Sorry, kid" I was not sorry. "Gotta stay awake. We don't go to sleep around here until there's no threats." I locked by now back up. "You're comin' on patrol with me."

"Shouldn't you take that bow with you if you're going on patrol?" She asked. Normally I'd belittle those who dared question me. But...

"Nah. I don't take my weapon unless I know I'm gonna fight. Street fights break out, my claws'll work fine. Which reminds me..." I grabbed the front of her dress and yanked her closer. "Fight breaks out while we're out there, you run. You let me handle it and you do NOT try to stop me. I mean it, kid. My claws got poison in 'me. One accidental scratch and you'll DIE. Got it?" 

Alice gulped and nodded. I dropped her. "Good. Now stay close, kid". Against my better judgment, I walked her to the door. The second we got out the door, I scanned for trouble. When I saw no trouble, I teleported.

**************************

Our first stop was the former market where Imperamare was locked up. "Take a good look, Alice. This is what the good ol' Queen of Hearts has turned into" 

Alice was wide eyed as she tried to process this. I snickered at her hesitance. 

"Why you inane child!" Imperamare started. "You vile creature! How dare you come back here and show your face in my kingdom?! You are a filthy thief! I have half a mind to-" 

"You're not gonna do shit" I cut her off. "You're in stocks and you're heavily guarded at all times". I said, motioning to the five or six card soldiers that surrounded her, guns and bayonets draw and faces deadly stoic. 

I looked over at Alice. "Go on kid. She won't bite. Even if she tries, they'll gag her" I half-snorted. 

Alice shyly approached the raging royal. I could see the fear in her eyes slowly being replaced by curiosity and... amusement? Well that was fast. Alice was approaching the past queen with the caution of a child approaching an injured dog or a wild horse. 

Quinonem, a kind old card soldier with the five of spades emblazoned on his chest, spoke up. "You wanna slap her? Throw something? C'mon Miss Alice, give her what's coming to her". 

The young woman stared down Imperamare. I saw the old bitch's hands curling into fists inside the thick glove she wore to suppress her power. Finally, Alice spoke. 

"No. She is getting what she deserves by being here. She's an old lunatic. I don't think hitting her, with or without my fists, will do much good. And..." she stepped closer, this time with much more confidence. "I am no their. It was your fat old knave who stole your stupid tarts". 

It took me a second to process what Alice had just said, but when I did, I burst out laughing. As did the soldier.

Quinonem's armor shook with laughter. "My stars, you're still in that tart thing?" He asked the raging old bitch. "Stubborn old bat" 

I looked at the kid in fascination. I remembered hiding in the rafters of the courthouse to watch that disaster. I thought the kid had held a grudge, but she was calm as anything. She just told her off and went on her way. 

As admirable as that was, that kind of attitude won't last you a day out here. This kid needed help. 

**************************

We were headed back to the bunker when Tweedle Dee approached looking ready for a fight. I whipped out the claws on my right hand, the one that wasn't guiding Alice around. His angry look is what prompted me to shove Alice to the side. 

"Well, well, well. Yer goin' back ta yer ol' guide cat ways, ain't'cha girly? Draggin' this lil best 'round like ya got 'er on a leash, yes you is" 

The silver liquid in my claws was unseen to my foe. "You're gonna wanna rethink your entire goddamn statement there, ya little shit" I snarled. 

He sneered at me with his yellow, uneven teeth. "Seems ya me that ya brought 'er inta my territory lookin' fer a fight" 

"Got lost, Dee. Every creature 'round these parts knows this is my territory you old fuck". I hissed at him. My eyes flicked to Alice. "Run" 

"But-"

"Shut it. Run. I'll find you later. Go". 

Thank god she obeyed and took off, because Dee swung at me. I intercepted his punch with a swipe of the claws. He groaned in agony. I rammed into his shin, causing his knee to buckle and he fell. In a feeble attempt to knock me down, he kicked out. 

I managed to jump, but just barely. His heel scraped across the leg. I brushed off the pain and scratched his ankle. Because he wouldn't move it, I clamped my fangs around it too. 

Between the bite and two scratches, the poison was kicking in fast. When I saw his hand start to turn dark gray, I leapt over him and ran for it. 

I spotted Alice's dress around a corner. I grabbed her and vanished. 

**************************

When we got back into the bunker, Alice was shaking. "He just... came at us..." she whimpered. 

I scoffed. "Wonderland ain't no picnic, Alice. People go hard. We all got our territories. You're lucky you feel into mine. I'm about the only one who keeps the peace anymore." 

I sauntered to one of my freezers and opened it. Fish and pasta. Same meal I'd eaten for the past week. I started some water boiling and gutted the fish. 

I whipped around and found Alice sitting absently on a bed, swinging her feet and staring at me with wide, innocent eyes. Why did I feel compelled to help this kid at all? She was a plague on Wonderland, right? 

"Hey" I called,my voice wavering as it tried to figure out if it should be gentle or calm. When I had her eye contact I motioned to my small pile of dishes. "Set the t-" I quickly realized I do not have a table. So I pointed to an empty counter. "...Countertop" 

Alice jumped up and scurried to get the dishes. She pulled out two plates, two forks, two knives, and two glasses, which seemed right to me. She arranged them on the empty countertop. I added the pasta into the boiling water and started frying the fish. 

_Screeeeeeek_. I spun on my heel to find the source of the horrific squeaking sound, only to see Alice struggling to drag two old barstools across the floor. I sighed and crossed the room to her. 

"Move" I said. She backed away with a frightened whimper, causing me to cringe internally. As I carried the barstools to sit in front of the plates, I made a mental note to work on my tone. I slapped the seat of the left-most stool. "Just sit here until the food is ready" 

She nodded a little shyly and sat down. When she was safely seated and playing with the hem of her skirt, I turned back to the cooking. I wasn't some master chef, but I didn't starve at least. 

When both the fish and pasta were done cooking, I sloppily dishes them onto plates. I filled the glasses with water from the spout and sat next to her. 

"Dig in, kid". I scarfed down my food. Alice's eating was more timid, but I was just grateful she ate. 

"Am I gonna make it out alive?" She asked, causing me to choke on a forkful of pasta. 

"What the fuck, kid? Doubting me already?" Though I joked, I tried hard not to think about how justified her question was. 

After dinner I, somewhat awkwardly, put her in a bed and threw the duvet over her. "Get some sleep, brat. We'll handle this in the morning". I patted her shoulder and then turned off the light. I wouldn't need light for what I was about to do.


End file.
